Why was the kindergarten teacher crying? a child had just choked to death

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a man walks into a bar the bar tender says why the long face? i just walked into a bar

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Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He was in a terrible car crash in which the fuel tank exploded.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men jump out, and the plane crashes anyway.

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A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

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A teenager decides to stay home instead of go to college. His parents are fine with his choice since he is mentally ill.

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Why is my penis so damn small? Cause the good lord made me that way

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James got up from the couch, forgetting what he got up for he asked his girlfriend, Mary: "What did I get up for again?" Mary replied "To get your medicine for your amnesia."

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Knock Knock! EXPLOSION!!!!

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What do you call someone who puts one number on here as a joke? Someone with no life.

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There was a brunette, a blonde and a red head, They were all great friends!

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why did the plane crash because it was 9-11

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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WE BE-ETH YON KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? So he could tell me to tell this joke to everybody and therefore prevent the universe from exploding

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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So this Horse walked into a bar... Just kidding, it was Sarah Jessica Parker.

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What's funnier A Ginger or a fat kid A fat ass ginger

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I used to be an adventurer like you...but then I was diagnosed with cancer.

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how do you get a mexican to fall off of a cliff? you push them off

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car and die.

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What is the difference between a dog and God? A dog is physical living creature while God is a supernatural being.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing set? Because she got hit with a mattress

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops