why did the semen cross the road? i wore the wrong sock today.

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Why did the boy fail his math test? Because his Mother threw a refrigerator at him.

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The other day, a buddy of mine gave me some of his sandwich. "My wife made it," he said. "It's really good," I answered. We chewed in silence after that.

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What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

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What did the giraffe say to the other? nothing giraffes cant talk

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Why did captain hook die? He wiped asss

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Why was the woman happy to give birth to a beautiful, healthy child? Just kidding, she had an abortion.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have PTSD. Time to kill myself.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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a man walks in to a bar. he says oww.

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Safe sex MR

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So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home.

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have you ever had african food? neither have they

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Your mum is so overweight, she is at risk of heart disease, I highly recommend she visits her GP.

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Why didn't the hispanic muslim woman vote for Donald Trump in the 2016 primaries? Because she lives in Connecticut where the primaries have not yet taken place.

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Roses are red, violets are blue you may not know this but I'm falling for you . <3

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Someone stopped playing Skyrim.

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My dog got out of its cage So I found it and beat the shit out of my neighbors kid.

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. It was the chickens decision thus, not affecting your life greatly. You should therefore mind your own business and let the chicken live his life with capability of using it's rights.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

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Q: What did one muffin say to the other muffin? A: "AAAA! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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What's yellow and can't swim? A tractor.

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so a blonde walks into a bank, opens her purse, pulls out her check and cashes it. She then returns to her car and proceeds home.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter anyway because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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