Have you heard the one about the Norwegian? He killed 98 people.

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What is 1 + 1 equal to? 2, because if you have one orange and if you add another orange, you will have 2 oranges, therefore 1 plus 1 is 2.

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Dani Barton is not that! She is a great girl with a strong heart and feelings. The statement below is a joke, hence why it was published on AntiJokes. This is NOT a joke however.

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What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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What do you call a fat kid? I don't know...you tell me

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Why did the black guy stop his car? There was a stop sign

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Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

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What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

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Q. Why was six afraid of seven? A. Because seven raped a three year-old child.

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch

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roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

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Q: How do you stop a baby from crying? A: You hit it with brick.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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How many Muslims does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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We start counting at 1, therefore 0 is countless. I've slept with countless women.

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Why was Sally crying because a flock Of seagulls just took a shit in her head

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What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

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Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the boy fall off of his bike? He was hit by falling koalas.

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What is a Mexican's favorite restaurant? While the term "Mexican" encompasses a wide range of individuals and individual predilections, the most common cibarious preference would likely be a food that is reminiscent of his or her homeland; that is, what we refer to as Mexican food. An authentic nearby joint sporting such provisions would likely be the most common preference, but, as this description can only be traced on the local scale, a specific restaurant that covers a wider range of locations would be a more appropriate answer. Among the top choices are Taco Time and Taco Del Mar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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