I’m on the new Seefood Diet… I can only eat Fish or shell fish

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A brown haired girl and a blonde girl are driving through a cornfield. Because of this illegal activity, they are sent to court and given 8 years in the state prison.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

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Two penguins are sitting on an ice flow. One says to the other: "hey--you know, it looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other one says, "who says I'm not?"

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What has eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs face.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a rapist.

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we should name the next hurricane alex rodriguez so it dosent hit any thing

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What is worse than stubbing your toe. Being shot

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What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

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Brad Fuller!

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How do you wake a clown up? By pouring vinegar in his eyes.

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Whats sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going off a cliff? A Caddy fits five.

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What do you call a dolphin mixed with a cheetah? I have no idea I was hoping you knew.

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What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

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What do you call cat that is on fire? Nigel.

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what did the little boy get from santa claus on christmas? nothing santa isnt real

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why was the man on the roof? he was about to commit suicide.

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Why could the red heading boy sing higher notes than the blonde headed boy? He was castrated at birth.

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why cant helen keller drive? because cars werent popularly accepted when she lived.

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What was Billy for Halloween? A pirate

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knock knock who's there interupting black woman interu- MMMMHHHHHMMMM

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Once upon a time, I farted They believe this now as the "Big Bang"

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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