A duck walks into a bar and says, "Have you got any grapes?" The bartender replies "No." The duck then leaves but returns the next day and again asks, "Have you got any grapes?" And again the bartender answers, "No." This happens again the next day and in annoyance the bartender yells, "If you come in tomorrow and ask if I have any grapes, then I will nail your feet to the floor!" The next day the duck came into the bar and asked, "Have you got any nails?" to which the bartender replied, "Yes." The duck then walked out of the bar

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but I'd like to know how they got in there.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -None, they will pay for somebody else to do it

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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Q: Why did the black man break into the house? A: Because he was poor and couldn't afford his daughters cancer treatment.

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Yo mama so fat, she gonna die soon.

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guy walks into a bar, ouch

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What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny becuase the robot had no arms.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? Glasses

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roses are red, violets are blue, I got pneumonia so now I am too

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What did hitler say to Osama Bin Laden? Nothing they were born at different times

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Knock Knock! F*ck off

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Why was the black girl happy? She got a raise.

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Why did the baby crawl onto the road? because a sick bastard put a bottle of milk there knowing that a bus would be going through that route soon.

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Why did the Muslim boy crash a plane into a building? Because the remote-controlled plane suddenly malfuctioned and crashed into a nearby apartment complex.

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Violets are blue, Roses are red, I like to mix up my poems.

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what do the students call their red-headed friend? Mike.

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What's funny? Nick Sotelo

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Why did a little kid have a long face Because his face was stretched out by a truck wheel

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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I bet you read this. Told ya.

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24... wait i thought of something better than 24... let me hear it... 25!!!!

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What do you call a person who kills a black? A black man

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two ducks run into each other........ then they walk away

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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