you know whats worse than being cold? being colder

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what do call a purple animal that eats rocks? A purple rock eater..

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What do you get when you mix a turtle and a dog An animal

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a chinese wompus came out of the basement.

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what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

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fjasdklfjklasdjfasdfk .... sorry i have terets!

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A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

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Why did the goose cross the road? He was playing duck, duck, goose

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Why did the golfer wear two pair of trousers? Because he's a wanker

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Skinny guy: Hey wanna hear a yo mama joke? Fat mother: Hey you wanna die?

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What did the black guy, the Mexican guy, and the Chinese guy have for lunch? A sandwich

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What's better than winning $5000 a week for life?! Winning any larger sum of money a week for life, and sex.

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<=3 penis

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A man walks into a bar. Wait, no, it was a horse. A man walks into a horse

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What did the Jewish kid get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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why did the little boy cross the road? because he had been raped.

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What happens when you give a Jew an iPhone? He says thank you and gives you a hug.

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Q: How is a cloud like orange juice? A: Neither have wheels.

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a man walks into a bar. he orders a single drink, enjoys it, and drives home feeling a bit tipsy, but he was still able to operate his vehicle without an accident or a criminal charge.

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Congress back then: No sooner had I ended this prayer than a pederast farted on my right. "Hah! a good omen," said I, and prostrated myself; then I burst open the door by a vigorous push with my arse, and, opening my mouth to the utmost, shouted, "Senators, I wanted you to be the first to hear the good news; since the war broke out, I have never seen anchovies at a lower price!"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, And really aggravate my allergies.

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Why did the kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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Most of these Anti-Jokes are Anti-Anti jokes, which makes them funny, if they were actually Anti-Jokes they wouldn't be funny at all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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