A boy bought a dozen roses, eleven real, one fake. He looks deeply into his girlfriends eyes, hers looking back, brimming with love and affection as he says, "I slept with your sister."

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roses are red. violets are violet...

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Some people like melon and others like soup.

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What did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They didn't. She was a blind deaf-mute, there was very little she could do wrong

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Where is the last place you would find a Mexican? In a good hiding spot that you didn't think of while trying to find him.

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What do you call a fat kid? I don't know...you tell me

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Why did the crack addict see colors. He was looking at the northern lights

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heyy emit chase wazzup

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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Why couldn't the Mexican man get a job? Because he was dead.

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How old are you like 10? Im 11 so shut the fuck up

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Roses are red, Violets are blue when I saw you what the heel are you

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nipple

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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch.

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A young blonde walks into a bar and orders a shot of tequila. After about a few minutes she spots this very ugly man with one leg. The man just so happens to sit right next to her and orders a drink. The man reeks of cockroaches and he looks like a homeless man that hasn't bathed in months. They never talk and the blonde goes home.

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your dad's gay. just let that sink in.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? I don't know. He couldn't open it.

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Mommy mommy I don't want to see grandma. Shut up and keep digging.

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whats green andthrows forks at you? a blonde painted green in a bush wih a gun and a fly on her eye

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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What is green fuzzy and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a rapist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops