Roses are red Violets are blue There's nothing else I want to say

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doctor doctor i have been having a sore head recently . doctor : have you hurt your head yes

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Why did the little boy lose his fingers? He was left unattended with a chain saw.

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Why did the man order fried chcken? I have twelve dead babies in my trunk.

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how do we call a person with no body nor nose? a dead guy

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What does a black person call black friday? Friday

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What do you do to become a hairdresser? Set Off the fire alarm

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A watermelon doesn't scream when you cut it open.

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who took a shit in my garden?

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we all know sammi has a penis

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My Nan, that is all.

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What did Ben's Graandma get him for Christmas? Nothing, she died on Thanksgiving!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Once upon a time, I farted They believe this now as the "Big Bang"

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you know what is so funny hillary clinton!!!!!!

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I threw a fridge at her.

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What's black and looks like Burnt Popcorn? A black man

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Q: why did the pie cross the road? A: Pie is not a living thing and has no way of transportation, therefor the pie did not cross the road.

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What's worse than having two girlfriends at once? Seven. Seven girlfriends.

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Roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme but this one doesn't

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Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

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What did the duck say to the moose? Quack

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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