what's the difference between a box of dead babies and a corvette? I don't have a corvette in my garage!

How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

You know your in deep shit when you hit somebody in the head with a 2 by 4 and they dont go down.

Why did the black basketball team beat the white basketball team? They practiced more

Why did the little girl stop going to dance class? She broke both of her legs in a terrible train accident

A man goes into the doctors office for his yearly checkup. The man waits patiently for several minutes until the doctor is ready to see him. After about ten minutes pass, the doctor is ready to see him. The man enters the doctors office. He passes all of the necessary tests. The doctor and him talk for a while. After a few minutes, the doctor says, "Okay, thanks for coming. See you next year." The man thanks the doctor and leaves.

I like my women how I like my ice-cream Out cold.

what do you get when you cross a giraffe and an octopus an abomination

why did the blond walk in to a door because she was not paying attention

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A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

When was George Washington born? Who the hell knows. He's older than dirt.

knock knock who's there who who who and if u sat something about an owl I'll kick u in the face u fat cike

Billy and Jeff wanted to go on an adventure so they planned a safari in Africa. Everything was going as planned until they were in a sticky situation: whether to cross a narrow bridge above the crocodiles or not. Billy tells Jeff "Hey whats the worst thing that can happen?" Jeff was diagnosed with cancer and died the next morning.

Yo mama so fat, her whole family is encouraging her to exercise and go on a diet.

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A black man is a human, with feelings, living cells and a loving and devoted family, while a park bench is made from wood and metal and used purely for people to sit on. In parks.

Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

Q. What did one wall say to the other wall? A. Peekaboo I see you.

Why was the little boy's hair messed up on picture day? Because he was brutally stabbed in the face.

Why are black people not allowed to play football? They are.

What's poor and lives in Newry city council dump? Smelly mcD

What kind of shots I'd John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

What's the difference between an orange? A bycicle you fool, a vest doens't have sleeves

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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