What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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Whats blue and white and red all over? The American flag

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Q: What did the black man say to the other black man? A: Nothing. They didn't know each other.

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Dusters blow stuff.

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What's black and white and red all over? News paper that was used to cover up a dead body.

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your momma's so fat i almost didn't have sex with her.... almost.

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you know whats funny... nothing.

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what's worse than than finding a worm up your ass? Death

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What did the elephant say to the poacher? Answer: Dear God in heaven, please don't kill me for my ivory.

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What's the difference between Marvin Gay and George Straight. They are two different people

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the most direct path to his destination.

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You're such a dork you were found on the bottom of a whale.

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How do Yankees fans cheer for their favorite sports team? Let's go Yankees!

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A Black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and the bar tender says " thats something weird you got there". The parrot says "yeah i found it on the street".

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Fortunately, the bra was on display in a clothing store and was not actually being worn at the time.

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A panda walks into a bar. He eats but then is tranquilized and taken back to the zoo.

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Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

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What do you do when your condom breaks during sexual intercourse? Get AIDS.

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Do you know what's annoying? Steve

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a jew walks out of a furnace

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how do you get a black guy out of a tree? ask himnicely and if he doesn't promptly call the fire department

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops