Roses are red Violets are blue I am disabled, so please help me poo.

I hate it when I try to put my gun on safety but I accidentally shoot u a school full of kid.

Did the boy ever tell you how he died? Trick questions he's dead, deceased bodies can't talk.

Q:Why is the WMBA so unsuccessful? A:Barely anyone watches it

Whats the difference between a house and a truck? Ones a truck the other one is a house

So a female ant walks into a bar... and someone steps on it.

What did the one horse say to the other. Nothing because horses can't talk.

How do pigs get hurt? They are run over by a tractor.

THE GAME

What's black and white and red all over? A car in which some young hoodlum appears to have splashed a fair amount of red paint over the owner's otherwise charming checker pattern.

What did the train say at the party Thomas isn't really dumb ass

Help iv fallen and i can get up -blarg

A Sloth runs...

KNOCK! KNOCK! Who's there?! ... Ditched again!

Q: Why can't Eric drive a car? A: Because Eric is a rock

What did the mexican say to the black guy before he went to work. Hey

Why did the chicken cross the road? To go to the slaughter-house.

What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

Why did Sarah fall of the swing... She had no arms. Knock knock, who's there... Not Sarah. Face Face, who's there... Probably Sarah.

How do you talk to a mentally challenged person? You use words in a sequential order that would make sense grammatically

Steven hawking walks into a bar. a.w j.p

What did Jesus say when he walked on water? I'm drowning

thumbs up!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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