A neutron walked into a bar and asked "how much for a drink?" The bartender did not reply because a neutron is so small he didn't notice that it even entered.

keep your eye off me if you dont look at me, how do you know i looked at you? there is a mirror

what's black and white? everything. i'm a dog

What's the difference between a duck? One of its feet are both the same.

what did the american say to the other american? get out of the way i gotta go to mcdonalds!

what is the difference between a park bench and a black guy? the park bench is an inanamite object and doesn't have feelings

Why was the black man at the back of the bus... Cause all the other seats were taken

Where did Lil' Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

What happened to the man who killed his family? Rape.

A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

Whats worse than finding a repeated joke in anti-joke? The Holocaust.

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when the elephants were coming? Here come the elephants! What did Jane say when the elephants were coming? Here come the plums! (She was color blind.)

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, a bus hit it half way along and it died instantly.

And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? Everywhere

What's worse than getting shot in the face? Nothing really because that could leave you seriously handicapped for the remainder of your life or there is a good chance that you are dead.

What's black and doesn't work? Half of Detroit.

Stand back, I don't want to hit anyone with the axe.

children burning

roses are red and violets are in fact violet

How do you distinguish between an unlabeled carton of milk and an unlabeled carton of cream without breaking the seals? You label them.

Hickory Dickory Dock My dog died today.

What comes after 7? Pedophiles.

President Donald Trump

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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