Why do birds fly south in winter? Because its too far to go walking.

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Your mom is fat

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Why couldn't the girl climb out of the pool? She drowned

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What's the difference between a lesbian and a Pringle ? One is a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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Knock knock! Ding dong.

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My girlfriend once told me " Life is like a penis, it's hard."

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What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

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Why are black people so tall? Because their parents were

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You know what isn't funny? Getting punched in the face. You know what is funny? Brittany Spears getting punched in the face.

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What god did Bill believe in? No god, Bill is an athiest

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Why did the mass murderer abandon his killing spree? He found out it was illegal.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? To get home.

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How did the two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for half an hr? They didn't and they died.

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Roses are red Violets are blue get down or i will shoot

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How its supposed to go: Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mopwho? How my friend Cassidy did it: Knock knock Who's there? I eat my poo! Oh wait I screwed up.

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What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

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Where can find a man who owns a white van capable of transporting many children? Most local churches have them for mission work. I would contact a local minister.

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How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

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Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

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i was going to say a gay joke butt f*** it.

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shut up kobe!

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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A man says to a boy. I bet you I can jump over that mountain. The boy wins the bet because it is a physical impossibility to jump over a mountain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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