Why did the deaf man attend the music concert? He was invited by friends and wasn't doing anyhting else that evening.

whats brown and sticky? shit

What is the difference between a bucket of shit and a Jew? The Bucket.

What is red white and blue Blood. I was lying about the white and blue.

whats wors than getting hit by a car? getting raped by a giant scorpian

I'm off to my tank guys!

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? because she was SHITFACED!!!!

Why did the chicken cross the road? It would be unlikely for any entity of this time to speak English and communicate with chickens so it is improbable for one to know the answer.

Why was the fat man removed from the restaurant? When his date didn't show up he started and crying and proceeded to stab himself with a fork

knock. knock. whos there? BOWLING SHOE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why did the Jew wear a beanie while playing soccer? Because he shaved his head

Waseem is sad because all his jokes are not funny!

There are two muffins in an oven. The first muffin says, "Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?". The second one says, "Hey, look! A talkin' muffin!".

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A deer. The fact that it has no eyes doesn't change the species.

What do you call a guy and two girls are at the bottom of the ocean? A guy and two girls at the bottom of the ocean.

What's faker than a rich mexican? A unicorn smoking weed

What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

So a Moose walks into this store, and walks up to the lady bitch, and he goes "Hey, lady bitch, where the potatoes?" So the lady bitch goes "Heheh, their in aisle 5." So the moose goes down aisle 5, and there aint no potatoes.

What's black, white, and red all over? The color scheme. Except for the black and white. They're shades.

A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

I pooped.

what did binladin say when he got to hell? oh no. im in hell

Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, No Professionals."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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