Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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Why does a Jew, a catholic, and a buddhist eat pizza? because they like the way it tastes.

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people, and are a nation and ethnoreligious group originating in the Israelites or Hebrews of the Ancient Near East. A pizza on the other hand is an Italian dish made up of cheese, bread sauces and multiple toppings.

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Q: What do you do when your friend tells you he murdered someone? A: Call the police.

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A baby seal walks into a club

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

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Why did the black man say "I been done did that?" He was speaking ebonics.

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Where do you live? In a house

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a horse walks into a bar. what does the bartender say? why is there a horse in my bar.

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yo mamma's so fat you're fat too, because it's genetical

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Why does Santa Clause eat cookies? Because cookies not part of a balanced diet.

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Someone made a Titanic joke to me today, It was just plane wrong.

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what did the horse say after the man told him to have a good day? nothing, horses dont talk.(:

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I have a black man in my family tree... He's still hanging there.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Spanish Inquisition.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? No. Well neither did she.

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What do you call somebody from Manchester? A twat

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black guy graduating high school

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I like big butts and I cannot lie. You don't know that. I may enjoy skinny butts. I may be lying.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's.

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Q: WHY DID GOD MAKE ASIANS? A: NO FREIKEN IDEA

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Why do you put a baby in a blender face up? To see the expression on its face

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Why did the skeleton stay home from the party He was buried in a coffin underground and, as a matter of fact, wasn't actually invited

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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