If I have 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the other, what do I have? Big hands!

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock out a window.

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Yeah, so I was partially right when I assumed that you joined the feds in order to make sure the past would not repeat itself huh? The underground society never broke a simple rule, a single law, it simple grew from a bunch of dopeheads, to people capable of creating nuclear weapons... Just a matter of speaking of course.

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What's good about freedom of speech? Only the idea. Try saying something about Muhammed or calling a cop a power-mad taxman.

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What bug has eight legs? Not a spider.

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Why do Christians believe in God? They made him up

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Your mother's so fat that affects her self esteem.

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what do you call a rat with wings? an evolutionary masterpiece

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Violets are blue, Roses are red, I like to mix up my poems.

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Get on your knees Ho

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9/11, Amanda Todd, Adalia Rose, Cancer, Swag, Yolo, Disco, anything Southern, Nazi's, and Police officers walk into a bar Everyone stares because these are mildly offensive things.

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your mammas so poor she is probably going die in a few days of starvation

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1

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what do you call an astrounaut in space? an astrounaut you racist bastard

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Why did the black person cross the road? Because the street light turned green

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what did God say when He saw a black man? Oops I urnt one.

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why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted AIDS

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How are a pizza and a jew similar? They both are people aside from the pizza.

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Knock Knock Come in. Thanks.

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What's funny about a man walking into a bar? He was a clown.

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A Mexican, A Caucasian and An African American walk into a bar. Suddenly, a rival of the African American's pulls up in a used Chevrolet and shoots him 6 times with a semi-automatic handgun. The Mexican and Caucasian are distraught and call 911 immediately. The rival is later arrested and found guilty of murder in the first degree by a jury of his peers. Less than 6 months later, the bar is closed due to the negative stigma surrounding the shooting. Urban life is a harrowing and tough experience that most outsiders will never fully understand.

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A guy walks into the bar and orders a coke with some ice and some peanuts. It cost a total of $4.00 plus tax. He gave the bartender $5.00 and told him to keep the change. He drank the soda pop and burped loudly and left the bar and forgot his peanuts.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Shit a brick.

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead. John rolls his eyes at sam very dissapointedly then proceeds to go home. The next day Sam phones John excitedly telling him he traded his Green day tickets for Oasis tickets, a smile appears on Johns and Sams faces, not that they can see each other, they both then put the phone down. An African died. Green Day are a bad band.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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