What do you call girls that can run faster than me? Virgins

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What is white, sticky and tastes great? Milk

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What do you do when a black man points a gun at your face? you do what he tells you to do.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you cuz your fat.

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What's the difference between gays and straights? Sexual orientation

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Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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Where do black people ride bicycles? In the Pedestrian Zone.

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yo momma so fat i abuse my wife

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son was captured by a sexual predator, and your daughter tried to run from them, and now she's under the wheels of the bus going round and round.

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so dont touch it.

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"You know what my motto in life is?" "No" "Oh, that's a shame."

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Why did the chicken kross the road? It didn't because it was a highway and it got hit by a bus.

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What is matt dalys favorite thing in the world? penis

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What is the difference between a rat and an italian? nothing.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Nothing.

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Why can't a black guy be the King of England? He's not in line for it.

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^that joke a piece of shit

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A man walks in on his wife blowing Bubbles. Two weeks later they are divorced.

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An Englishman, and Irishman, and a Scottsman walk into a bar and the bartender says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Robin get in the car"

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Give me thumbs up!

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Knock,knock whose there? The pizza delivery guy the pizza delivery guy who the pizza delivery guy who didnt give you your pizza

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops