roses are red violets are blue i ate a peanut lets go have sex

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Why did the jew die Really...

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Why cant steve get a job? Because Steve Jobs is DEAD! Moral: And people are all like "you gotta respect the dead", uh... Why not respect people while they are alive? Humanity is so fucking "smart" sometimes ya? Not that your answer matters...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely to get to a source of food or escape a predator.

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What happened to all of the happy birds flying over the field? They were all suddenly stricken by the bird flu and died.

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what did the black man say to the white man? hi

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What has two legs but can't walk? A quadriplegic man who lost mobility in his legs due to a horrific logging accident.

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the man the invented it doesnt want it, the man that wants it doesnt need it, and the man the needs it doesnt know it....what is it? a coffin.

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The dyslexic man called the black man a ginger.

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What happened when the man stuck his hand in the blender? Nothing, it was turned off.

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Why did the wealthy black man shoplift from the convenience store? He is a kleptomaniac.

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A Man buys a Prius. Hated it.

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What happened to the lady with cancer?? She got shot!!

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Why did the little girl fail her test? Because she had mental retardation.

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Q: What is the difference between everything and nothing? A: everything! Moral: NOTHING!

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Wanna know a funny word? Pickle-weasel.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I am.

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A man walks into a doctors and says 'Doctor, Doctor, I have a bad stomach ache' Upon hearing this, the doctor writes the man a prescription for medication and wishes him a swift recovery.

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Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Robin Robin Who? Robin Williams Whoa, too early bro

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Two men walk into a bar, they weren't looking where they were going.

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Your mother was a hamster, And your father smelt of ElderBerries!

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind and is a women, who are notoriously bad drivers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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