Paul howley can't drive, phahahaha

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What did the person do at the stop sign? Stop

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the pedophile get arrested? He was driving way over the speed limit.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

When you're climbing up a ladder and you feel something splatter, you may want to see what happened, and then promptly clean up the mess so one one slips.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do you call a penis without hair? Apple sause

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why wasn't the clown funny? He didn't have a face

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has two penises

thumb_up thumb_down +41

I haven't made a school shooting joke yet, but the day is young Just like those kids that got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Snausages.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

roses are violets red is blue i like doughnuts doughnuts are good

thumb_up thumb_down +39

nba live 13

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink, drinks his drink, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Why does it matter, they can't chuck wood in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Knock Knock! Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's purple and gross? Purple gross stuff

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Knock Knock Whos There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Radley.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

There was this guy who walked in the bar with one shoe. The bartender asks what happened. The man said the shoe didn't fit. So the bartender ask where is the other shoe. The man said he threw it away. The bartender looks in the trashcan and sure enough he sees his other shoe. The bartender says "This is the same size as your other shoe. Why are you wearing one shoe?" The man says "I'm just playing a prank on you. There's a hidden camera over there and over there. Is it okay if I can put you on YouTube?" and the bartender says "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What is the difference between a mustache, and a pile of dead babies? Mustaches disgust me.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What is it called when a Native American Indian man smacks a woman in the face for cheating on him? In police code it's called a "273D Domestic violence - Felony" most likely involving an insecure man with control problems simply adding to the stereotype that Native American's are drunk, abusive and domestically violent people.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What is funny about a child with down syndrome? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Yo' momma's so fat, she has an increased risk of cardiovascula disease and may die.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops