How do you burn a lot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

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If a man has a gun, but no arms or legs, is he armed?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was crudely stapled to another chicken who insisted on doing so.

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A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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Q: how do you make a baby blow bubbles? A: hold it under water, or as an alternative you could hold it under its twin sisters blood.

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Why did the Jew have very bad gas? He had very rough anal sex and air got stuck up his bum

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had cancer.

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Why cant penguins fly? because they cant

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Why did Sam have no friends? Because he was dead.

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how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

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What's the difference between you and yourself? Yourself has 4 more letter in it.

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how much is a microwave full of dead babies? a fridge full of dead puppies.

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So, North Korea is getting ready to nuke the US... BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Their, they're, there You're, your

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the other birds had taken hostage the chickens family.

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knock knock ... no one was in

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo Boo hoo? Boo hoo your parents are dead.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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knock knock whos there? the police, your under arrest

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Q: How do you get a one armed blond of of a tree? A: You grab a ladder and help her down safely.

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How many blind people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Does it matter?

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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why is Justin Berber gay? hes not thats rust a myth

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops