What do you get when you cross a canary and a lawnmower? Nothing. A canary is a small bird, and a lawnmower is an inanimate object. Any procreation of this sort would likely produce no offspring.

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Justin Beiber

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Why couldn't Jenny speak right? Cause she had autism.

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What's the difference between a Jew that is half Jewish and a Jew that is fully Jewish? 1/2

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The doctor asks the patient how he's doing, the patient says fine. The doctor says "that's weird cause you have leukemia."

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a strip club. They then realised that they are religious leaders and set an example for their respective religious communities and shouldn't be in a strip club and leave.

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Why did the father not text back? He died in a car crash

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd probably pay in cash.

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Q:Which do you take out more...trash or recycle? A: Greenery

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How do you scare a blonde? Put the barrel of a gun to the side of her head.

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The women if the wnba are good at basketball

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you thought i was going to write a joke.. bitch

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obama's promises

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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liam buchan is gay !

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Two black men go inside a movie theater. They sit down and watch the movie.

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What did God say to the snake when the Snake decided to ignore God and just give Eve the apples? Snake what are you doing? Answer me, SNAKE! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! *DUN DUN DURUDUN! DU DU DUN! *gunshot* Moral: I just hate thumbs ups, and the comments where I omit this receives those horrible green thumbs instead of them sexy red ones, so there goes.

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And then i said what about breakfast at tiffanies, and then you said i hate that movie.

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because it escaped from the farm.

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A: How much do you love me? B: Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. A: But, it's morning. B: Exactly.

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What do you get if you cross a lin and a deer? A pile of bloody bones.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four, maybe 3, depending on the size of each person.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear made her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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How do you make sushi if you are a fish? Commit suicide and sell yourelf to a sushi resturant!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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