Why do jewish women like to get their sons circumcised? They like anything 25% off.

A woman walked into a bar at least that is what she tells her friends about how she got a blackeye.

Why did Bill yell? Because he stepped on a nail.

What did timmy fall off the swings? He had no arms

You are in England which has a law about not moving traffic when these idk some kinda swans cross the road. You see a fat woman in a car and she is waiting for the swans to cross the road and she can't drive the car else she would get in trouble by law. What do you do? Feed her

You're in a room with your friend, and you see some one being eaten by a monster. Who's getting eaten? No one, monsters aren't real.

Two rocks are in the playground. Nothing happens, because rocks are not sentient beings and are thus incapable of producing any sort of activity on their own.

What is small, black, and loved by children? An oreo.

What is worse than being blind? Having a brain tumour.

Why did the zombie go to school? Zombies do not exist and certainly do not go to school.

Farts smell bad!

an englishman an irishman and a scotsman walked into a bar there was no welshman. they didn't phone him due to his uncontrollable thirst for violence

Question: What did one lesbian say to the other lesbian at the grocery store? Answer: Will that be paper or plastic?

What do you call a dog that's half poodle, half bulldog? A dog.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

say this really fast D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I CK, D I C K IF YOU CANT LIKE IT

A horse walk into the bar, the bar tender asked, why the long face the horse unable to understand English takes a shit and walk away.

How did the girl die? 25.

Ask me if i'm a tree... "Are you a tree?".... No

A blond, a brunette, and redhead are trapped on an island. They all try to swim across shark infested waters to the mainland. While they're swimming, the blond turns to the redhead and says, "This water is mildly cold." The redhead replies "Yeah."

Why couldn't the man speak any English? Because not everyone can.

Why don't they sell aspirin in the jungle? Because it is not financially viable to sell pharmaceuticals in a largely unpopulated area.

joe diragi makes paul look straight

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...