How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

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marshal sterio had sex

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That didn't hurt.

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Waseem is not a funny guy!

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An Englishman, an American, and an Australian walk into a bar. They speak English to each other.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? 17

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What is the square root of 69? 8.30662386

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Parents: What do you want for your birthday? Boy: A yellow ping pong ball. 7th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball 13th birthday P: What would you like for you birthday son? B:A yellow ping pong ball. P:Hmm, fine. 17th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: That's is I'm getting you a car! Day before 18th the boy drives into a bridge. He lies in his hospital bed and his parents are there. P: What would you like for you birthday tomorrow? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: Fine. Why do you want these ping pong balls anyway? B: Because. And then he died.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Why does it matter, they can't chuck wood in the first place.

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What do you call a black hitch-hiker? Stranded

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Two men walked into a bar. The third transformed into a duck and flew away.

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Q) what do girls like long , soft (can go hard) and has white stuff come out A) Twinkies but if left out of its plastic wrapping for a long period of time it will go hard

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A: ask me if I'm a truck. B: why? A: just ask me. B: are you a truck? A: no.

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What do you call six million jews? Dead.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Set an alarm for an appropriate time

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Knock knock. Who's there? John John who John

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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What's worse than finding your dad's wedding ring while fingering your sister ? 3 bee stings.

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How do you make a clown cry? You kill his family and chop off his legs.

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Hearpin my durp

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A grasshopper goes into a bar It is stepped on and crushed.

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Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come home from camp.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a chevrolet? I've never been inside a chevrolet before...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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