- Anti Joke

Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

This is probably how President Obama proposed to his wife. "I don't wanna be Obama self"

Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

How did Bob fall off the swing? He had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? He had no arms. What did Bob get for Christmas? Cancer.

Why did Chuck Norris go to Chuck E Cheeses? Because his friend wanted to go.

What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wish you were here, To get to the other side!

Why can't the dinosaur eat M&M's? He is dead. He used to rule the Earth 65 Million years ago, though. Dinosaurs are reptiles. Whales are not. Meow?

Your mom is so stupid she had a hard time graduating high school.

What did the homeless man get for christmas? NOTHING, he died.

What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial couple being murdered

Why did the manager fire his black employee? Because he was stealing office supplies. Why was he stealing office supplies? Because he needed the money for his family. Why did he need that money? Because he wasn't being paid his full wage. Why wasn't he being paid full wage? Because his employer was a racist. Upon this analysis, the state of California ruled the case of Jones vs. Smith in favour of Mr. Jones, and ordered Mr. Smith to give Mr. Jones a cash settlement of $500,000. However, Mr. Jones was still convicted with a single charge of petty theft and was sentenced to six months in prison. His family was still awarded the settlement of $500,000. Mr. Jones made parole three months early for being an "idol inmate."

What's worse than hearing another Holocaust anti-joke? The Holocaust.

The 19th Amendment

What is the difference between a black guy and shit? One just looks and smells like shit, and the other actually is shit.

Whats big, yellow and red? a school bus with a bunch of dead children.

q: Why does my grandpa climbs a phone pole with a bag of bananas? a: He likes to climb and he might get hungry.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

I can't stand 9/11 jokes Their just plane wrong!

1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

Why did the chicken cross the road. Because, It can't fly

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Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

Dumbledore: Yo mamma's so fat --- her Patronus is a cake! Voldemort: ...bitch!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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