Two men meet at an office. One man says "why the long face?" Then other man says "I just had plastic surgery."

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm Animals

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

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What does a ghost get when he watches porn? A boner

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How do you kill a blond? Stab her repeatedly in her throat

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What is the biggest lie ever? "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Use"

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What's white and has a crusty nose? Luke Lange

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A Mexican, a Jew, and a Colored guy walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says: "What can I get you gentlemen today?"

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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why was the black man running away from the convenient store? He was going for a jog and it just so happened that he passed by the store

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Have you heard of the dog that sounds like Megan fox? No Oh, well ummm apperantally there's this ummm dog that sounds like Megan fox. So ummm yeah. Pretty interesting stuff

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why did the bus roll down the hill? Children were playing in the street.

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How do you get a black kid to sleep? A cup of warm milk and maybe a lulluby should do it.

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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...................__ ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') .........\.................'...../ ..........''...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( BroFist

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Why was the school girl called a dork. Because a whale penis is called a dork, and she identically resembles a giant aquatic dick.

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What's faker than Nicki Minaj's tits? Women rights.

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A man climbs a tree, falls, and breaks his legs. He will never walk again

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A redhead and a blonde both go out to smoke a cigarette. They are both at risk of lung cancer.

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Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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