Why am I writing this? Cuz I am eating babies alive right now!

Why cant the guy drink his beer Because he hasnt opened it yet

Q. A couple went on a boat. The boat sank. Every single person died, who survied? A. The couple.

How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

A man walks into a bar... has a beer then leaves to his beautiful wife and his 2 children

Why did the referee go to the zoo? He likes animals

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

What's the difference between Santa clause and the Jews? Santa goes down the chimney

What's the difference between contemporary Christian music?

when life throws you lemons you should probably get out of the way because it will hurt

What's worse then finding a worm in ur apple? Nothing it sucks and it's a waste of an apple

Was the last joke funny? Because this one isn't.

Roses are flowers.

what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

What's worse than falling out of a tree and landing on a dog? Rape.

wife: why are women's feet smaller husband: so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

How many Azheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

What do you call a Muslim on a plane? A passenger, you racist bastard.

Shark week? More like owl week. Hoo!

What do you call an apple, an orange, and a pear in a bowl? Fruit

What do you call Rosa Parks? One bitchy negro. Just kidding she was a visionary for human rights, now you can't dislike this cause you'll be saying that Rosa Parks wasn't a visionary, take that blacks.

Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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