,Do you know what hapened to the janitor who cleaned the school halls? He finished the job, got paid a reasonable amount and went home to his average family.

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There are two kids playing basketball outside one kid shoots and makes it. The other youngster exclaims "nice shot!" because the other boy put the ball in the hoop from a very long distance.

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YOU-why did the airplane crash? (person): why? YOU-Because jimmy was flying it. (person): Who is jimmy? YOU- a fish.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

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You know what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Because you touch yourself.

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Q. why did the chicken cross the road A. damn it this joke is a million years old shut up

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist? He didn't believe in santa.

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What did the atheist say as Jesus walked past? nothing, he ran to the nearest bar and called the insane asylum.

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why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

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What's the difference between a fat person and a whale? The quality of the fat. -Japan

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Roses are Rose, Violets are Violet.

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What do black people and tables have in common? Nothing.

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NO I AM NEROCHAN LEFT!

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Why did the wheel fall of the car?? Cause you can't fit 10 pancakes inside of a doghouse.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

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What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes......

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How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

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Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

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Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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