Why did Gary have severe learning difficulties? Because his mother drank a lot of alcohol while she was pregnant, and it harmed his development significantly.

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How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

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What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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What's big, red and delicious? A prune. I lied about it being big, red and delicious.

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Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

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Knock Knock Who's there? John John who? John Williams.

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Why did Fred fall off the bike? He was a shoe.

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How many moose does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, it is biologically and theoretically impossible for a moose to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

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I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

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A man walks in to a bar. Ouch.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, oceans don't have hands to wave either

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Next season on teen moms, Justin Bieber tells her story.

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What do you call a cow without legs? Disabled.

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Q : WHAT DID THE SMALL SHEEP SAY TO THE BIG SHEEP ? Z : BÆÆÆ

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A black man, a Mexican man, a Jew, an Asian man, and a white man get into a fight. Who won? Well since their dispute got all the way to a fight, I guess nobody really wins.

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Guy gets new car. TRANFORMER!

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roses are red violets are blue wanna hear a joke? WNBA....

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This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

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Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for the cases when you die...then you are dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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