National security?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But his one doesn't.

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I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

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Why does Chuck Norris own a can named Chuck Norris? because he is self-centered due to all the attention payed to him for virtually no reason at all.

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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Black people having a Job.

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Where did Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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A man walks into a bar he's drunk and can't feel it But he's ok

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Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

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how man

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What's blue and smells like sky? Sky

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Q: What's worse than stepping a LEGO in the middle of the night? A: A landmine

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Why did the chicken cross the road. ... It didn't.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman

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What was wrong with the tomato? Nothing.

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i like your face... HAHAHAHAH just kidding you make me want to projectile vomit.

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what dyu call a jew on the moon? a problem. what dyu call ten jews on the moon? a bigger problem. what dyu call all the jews on the moon? problem solved.

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Why was the black man crying? His wife left him, took his children, and most of his possessions in the divorce.

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Slug on ya tooth Gavin David Newman

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Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

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A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

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My childhood friend said she had a bad breakup with her husband (yeah husband), and that she needed a really stiff one. Come on! How was I supposed to know she was talking about alcohol! She did blush and smile after I pulled my pants down however, that`s like seven out of ten right? I mean I was just trying to help a friend out right? And myself, fine myself, but it will be a total win/win situation, you know... Those where you win twice? "Dont worry, Im not comming" *pewpew*

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What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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