Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he can make before the car hits him.

What happens when u poke a ghost that is standing on the edge of a building? Ghost aren't real so therefor u will fall of the edge and die

Rose: Mummy, why did you name me Rose? Mother: Because a rose fell on your head when you were a baby Daisy: Mummy, why did you name me Daisy? Mother: Because a daisy fell on you when you were a baby Fridge: durr hurr Mother: Shut up, Fridge

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

what do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? last years hide and go seek champion

How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take your fott off his head.

there is a black guy and a mexican in a car whos driving? a cop

Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

Whais red and bad for your teeth? a brick

Q. How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Light bulbs don't exist

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

What do you call a black man being raped by 6 members of the Ku Klux Klan? Rape

Why did the white woman press charges against the black guy? Because he raped her

Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

Why couldn't the dumbass go to colledge? He couldn't open the door.

What's worse than AIDS Nothing can possibly be worse than finding out you have AIDS

What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

What is a frogs favorite drink? Water.

What's better than having sex ? Having sex and being rich.

How do you stuff a giraffe into a refrigerator? You can't, giraffes are too big.

blargen fa-diddle nachen!

What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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