Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

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Knock Knock whos there? Semore Frickelson Semore Frickelson Who? What other Semore Frickelson do you know!? Let me in its freezing out here!

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How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

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Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

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How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

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Why was the man white? Because he wasn't black. All credit goes to Caravel.

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A blonde rubs a lamp hoping to find a genie that will grant her 3 wishes. It didn't happen.

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So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bike

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An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

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What's red and smells like metal? A tricycle. It's covered in blood.

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two tomatoes are running and one stops to tie its shoe and the other says "Catch up!" This begins to put the first tomato on the spot and he runs after the second tomato without finishing his shoe and he trips falls and dies of severe brain damage

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! Wrong. What doesn't kill you could leave you in a parapledgic state.

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What did the lawyer name is daughter? Caroline, in honor of his grandmother who died in THe Holocaust.

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What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

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What do you call the birth of George Lucas? Terrible, abdominal pain for his mother.

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I have CDO it's like OCD but in the right order

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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One day a there was a guy walking down the street. If you thought this was a joke, you're wrong.

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How do you drown a blonde. Put a Scratch N Sniff at the bottom of a pool and tell her to sniff it.

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how doyou wake up lady gaga youu poke er face

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Roses are red, Violets are too. You're bleeding out, I stabbed you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops