A child walks into a classroom.

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I agree Detroit sux. But the bulls suk too ya know

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Johnny Manziel is the best quarter ever (this isn't a joke just a true statement)

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How are friends and trees alike? They fall down when you hit them with an ax.

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Why do Mexicans stink? Because they're Mexican.

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How do you get a priest out of a tree? Throw a canoe at him.

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Q: Human being? A: False. Jew.

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato!!

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A blonde, a brunette and a red-head find a mirror with a message on it that says "Stand in front of the mirror and say something you think is true. If it is true, I'll grant you a wish. If it is wrong, you'll be sucked inside the mirror and be trapped there forever." The blonde, who is standing in front of the mirror, says "I think this is a stupid joke." and nothing happened.

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Guess what? Bananas

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What do you call a man with a spade on his head? Doug

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MATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. But if you answered poop you aren't wrong.

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whats black and doesnt work? a broken black toaster

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Tie her down and plant a bamboo seed under her.

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Why do i have no likes? Because im disliked...

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why did the chicken cross the road? because colonel sanders was chasing it with an axe

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Yo momma is so ugly that she uses it as motivation to work hard and thus for achieve more than a lot of whores do

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Why did the first monkey fall off the tree? becuase he died Why did the second monkey fall off the tree? because he was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall off the tree? monkey see, monkey do

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Three women are seen walking while having ice cream. One of them is licking the ice cream. Another is sucking the ice cream, and the other one is biting the ice cream. One of these women is married. Which one is married? The one that has a wedding ring on her finger.

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What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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