a group of mormons walk into a bar... just kidding mormons aren't aloud to drink.

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When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Which way do 4 gay guys walk South then past the milkbar then around the corner

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One day a mexican guy came up with a great anti-joke about jewish guys. Upon sharing it with a canadian buddy of his, he collapsed and died from a cerebral hemorrhage where he was then hit by a bus and mauled to bits by a pack of saber-tooth tigers.

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Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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3 blind mice walk into a bar. they have no idea of their surroundings and are quickly crushed to death.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because it thought that it would somehow increase its chances of survival.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

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The awkward moment when something of quite awkwardness occurs.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What?

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A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's genitals to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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You know what's wrong with Oprah? Generally nothing. She's a well-respected African American woman who happens to be quite wealthy and likes to share her wealth with other people.

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Why did michael jackson wear white gloves around young boys? His doctor recommended that he do so due to bad circulation.

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What do you say to a dead man who knocks on your door? Nothing, you shoot him cause he's a zombie

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Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A: Because he was shot in the face

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Whats the difference in car and a bicycle? One has an engine and drivetrain designed to run on gas and the other is powered by your output of work

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Why does the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have legs to walk and they are not able to fly across the road, like the rest of their bird friends.

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What has 156 bras and 927 pairs of underwear? Someone without a washing machine.

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so theres a plane, inside the plane are 500 solid bricks one falls out, how many are left? 499 What are the three steps to putting an elephant into a refrigirator? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge. What are the four steps to putting a dear in the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer and then shut the fridge. It's Simba's birthday, what animal isn't there? The deer. its still in the fridge. a lady is walking across a street, she suddenly falls to the ground why? Because the brick hit her in the face. (:

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What's the difference between my mom, and a bag of garbage? A bag of garbage is incapable of contracting aids

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How do you kill a dead baby? You can't, it's already dead.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen and warns him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and otherwise damaging consequences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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