What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

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Whats funny about a kid with down syndrome q: a lot of things, like his face

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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Why didn't the blonde eat bacon? She was Jewish, and it was against her religion.

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Why did Susie fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Why did Susie drown? Because she fell in a puddle. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzy!

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Why did the car fall of the cliff? The dude driving the car was driving recklessly.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

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Your a bus driver, at the first stop, 4 people get on. At the second stop, 2 people get off. At the third stop, 7 people get off. At the fourth stop, everyone gets off. What is the bus drivers name?

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What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

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Q: What has two legs and is bloody? A: half a cat

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Why is red? He was just murmured by a phycopath.

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hi i'm a dick, i mean mitt romney

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What? Why?

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Q: What do you call a dad running down a hill? A: A mom running down a hill, I lied about the dad.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swings? She had no arms... Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs... Why didn't anyone help her up? She had no friends... Why did she die? She landed in a puddle...

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What did chad do when he found the grape? He ate it.

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XD Okay then, just a little and I am not very fond of it, I mean I tried something called tekken but that just made me nauseus. Then I got into some car racing game years ago, RidgeRacer I think, but when I moved the car to the sides, I kinda involuntarily tilted to the sides, and ended up smacking on the ground a couple of times.

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What happened to the chicken when it crossed the road? Nothing because the cars that almost hit it swerved off the road.

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A drunken man grabbed a gun and shot his entire family to death. Luckily, a even drunker man had shot them moments before, so it really only served to ruin the perfectly good wall behind them with bullet holes.

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Women's rights.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Your son Your son who? Your son who’s sick of having a paranoid mother who won’t just open the door!

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yo mama is so fat she has more body mass than a skinny person

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What do you get when you shoot 3 cute kittens that have just walked into the house? 3 dead kittens

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? we are both lawyers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops