I can't hear you. I have carrots in my ears.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am staraiL so dont touch me!!!!!

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2 + 2 = fish

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What goes up but never comes down? This dick

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so...um, yeah

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Why did the man and woman have sex? To have a good time, but the man's condom failed and they ended up with a deformed baby because they were brother and sister. Those are your parents. Enjoy

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what is the differance between a toyata and a van full of dead babies I dont own a toyata

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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why did the cow say "moo"? because he's a cow and that's what cows say.

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What has hands but cannot feel? A sociopath; due to his or her mental health condition they are incapable of feeling true emotion.

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What's 1 + 1? Fish. What's 2+2? Window. pie.

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Whats yello and cant swim A bus full of dead children in a lake

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What do you call a black man on a rope swing? Usually whatever his first name is, but if he goes by a nickname you should use that

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what did the leprosy survivor get for christmas a amputation

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Due to the wildlife conservation program prevalent in the neighborhood, the chicken was able to cross the road safely.

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Why didn't junior say thank you for his christmas present from his dad? He was raised by two moms

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse then the Holocaust? Two Holocausts

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One muffin says to the other muffin "it sure is hot in here." the other muffin replies "you know, technically, we're not muffins because we're not done cooking yet."

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What's worse than the holocaust? An open-minded black man.

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A man gets three wishes from a talking banana. His first wish is for a gay lover, his second wish is to have a naked grizzly bear, and his third is to become a professional tennis player. Soon after he got Aids from the Grizzly bear.

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What's hiding in Redfoo (from LMFAO)'s afro? Nobody knows...

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whats worse than a dog biting you? two dogs biting you whats worse than that? the Holocaust whats worse than that three dog bites and one of them happens to have rabies

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Knock knock Who's there? *silence* WHO'S THERE? *silence* -Looks out window- Slenderman

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Man: Would you like to see someone Man 2: Sure Man: How bout the inside of an ambulance

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops