What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into your grandmother and finding a fish

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What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

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Why are roses red ? Ass in my face .

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kcid gib a evah uoy neht sdrawkcab siht daer nac uoy fi

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Q:how do you make a rockstar cry? A: hit him with a breifcase

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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What do you call a squirrel in my yard? Dead.

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Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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Your blood is red. Your bruises are blue. I have a gun. Now drag your carcass away from my residence.

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The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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I love telling anti jokes rather than jokes because I was born with a rare case of ebola and suffer from alcoholicationism

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What do you call someone with no arms, one leg,and an eye patch? names

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Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

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im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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how do you get lady gaga to wake up in the morning? Hit her with a brick

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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what did one wall say to another wall? nothing walls cant talk

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hello

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well you should really try some.

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How do you make a Chef cry? You kill his family.

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why is pie good. because it just is.

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I'll have a chocolate milkshake, hold the onions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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