What do you call a dog with no wings? A dog

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minorities

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What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Why was the strict Asian father angry when his son got an A- on his test? He found out that his son had been cheating.

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Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

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I like my coffee the way I like my women.....without a penis.

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A blindman walks into a bar... then a chair, then a pole

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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What do you call a gay mexican on welfare? poor

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Whats the difference between 10 dead babies and 8 dead babies? 2 dead babies.

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A jew a muslim and a catholic walk into a doctors office. The doctor is arrested for raping a child and his office closes. The Jew and Muslim find another doctor andthe Catholic dies because he had aids

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My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

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What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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Why can't Helen Keller have sex? She is dead

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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what do you get when you give an eevee a french stone? Napoleon!!!

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What's the difference between Nelly and Common? One of them is an artist and one of them is a businessman.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops