A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

the horse walks into the bar the bartender calls the pet control

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Women's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

You say: Why did the chicken cross the road? Response: Why? (or some other answer to a different joke) You say: To get to your house! Knock, knock. Response: Who's there? You say: The CHICKEN!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the Jewish population diminish in the '40s? Showers and Ovens

thumb_up thumb_down -29

roses are red violets are blue no seriously they are

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the Little 8 year old boy do when a big black man walked into his house? He said "Hi daddy", then they happily ate dinner together.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why was the women not in the kitchen? She was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How does an electrician install an outlet? I don't know. I'm not an electrician.t

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? I don't know. The woodchuck won't chuck wood.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the man say to his wife before she made him a sandwhich? Do your job and make me a sandwhich.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's the best anti-pest control of all time???? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

you are as stupid as alec. lol neewb

thumb_up thumb_down -31

what is purple and fly? - a purple flying.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A blind man walks into a bar No literally he does, he has a guide dog and everything, he's a capable member of society, don't be rude.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q: What's worse than losing your job? A: Seeing your entire family die in a car accident

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Here is a nursery rhyme: Jane is a scruff, she has a head full of nits. She also had pain in her great big... Now don't get excited. Don't be mislead. Because all that Jane had was a pain in her head!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? Jokes related to finding a worm in an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

whats the difference between a white jew and a black jew the black jew is treated poorly and is sent to the back of the gas chamber

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q- Why did spongbob go to Detroit? A- He didn't, spongbob is not real. And even if he was, Detroit is not a very popular tourist attraction.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops