Why did the chicken cross the road? He was standing next to you.

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A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

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Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

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A guy walks into a bar, has a few drinks with his mates and gets highly intoxicated.

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I hated hipsters before hating hipsters was mainstream. Does that make it sound like I have a fixed gear bicycle? Because I don't... I promise... What's a fixed gear bicycle, you ask? You mean you don't know???

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sex with dead people. they can't say no;)

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what's grosser then 1000 babies stapled to a tree?? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees

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What's the difference between a zit and a priest? These two things are so different that I couldn't list all of the differences in this text box.

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Why didn't the giraffe go to the zoo party? He didn't receive an invitation.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face? the skeleton replies I have aids.

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Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

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What was Steve Jobs' favorite fruit? Grapes.

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Why did the horse stop running? His master beat him to death.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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justin bieber: ask me if im a boy are you a boy? no.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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A little boy was taken away in a black van with the promises of candy and a puppy of his very own. What he received? That fore mentioned, and more. The more? Ass rape

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what did the cripple, the cancer guy, the blonde, and the blackguy have in common they all have no reason to live

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Why did the gay guy walk into a straight bar To find the better looking guys

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A my dog was a rappa. He recorded a hit. But it had no lyrics, because he is a dog.

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Why didnt Stevie Wonder wave back at the white man? Because he's a racist.

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What do you call a lesbian eskimo? The name she was given at birth.

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Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 cantaloupe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops