A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "What'll it be?" The horse never replied.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

National security?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the jew do to his waiter? He explained how he had provided excellent service and left a very generous tip to applaud his efforts.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the woman call the police? because there was a murderer pointing a gun at her at her son.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Yo mamma is SO fat, she is classified as fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted, the other was brutally raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you get when you take a bag of chips and divide it by 5? a Nike store worker's meal

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the zombie say to the woman? I like turtles.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Where did Jimmy go during the bombing? An underground shelter where he would be kept from harm.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Hitler say to Obama Nothing because Hitler is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

300 terrorists have a contest, they all jump off a tower and die. Who wins? Society.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How does a black man get to his parent's house on Christmas? He drives

thumb_up thumb_down +3

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. On of them was moderately amusing and took home the modest prize.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, Violets are too. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing infliction.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How will the world end? That information is unknown

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man gets home from work with red on his collar. His wife asks what it is. The man replies "I had sex with a young woman, your to old and you disqust me"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two men walked into a bar. I'm surprised the second man did not duck out of the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

thumbs up if you want 10 dollars to ya paypal.. email me @ sickguy42@hotmail.com

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Once a man asked a lady working at the supermarket, Can I see your avocados? She kindly walked him over to the rack where they were being held.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats the difference between a thousand dead babies and a porshe? i dont have a porshe in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How did the Nazis torture someone? They inserted a glass tube in the penis and flicked the end so that it shattered.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops