There was 3 guys. A mexican, a black guy, and a jew. They work at a construction site and one day they found what appears to be a magic lamp. The mexican guy rubs the lamp hoping for a genie to appear and grant them wishes. Sure enough a genie appears. "I have been freed from the magic lamp." Says the genie "I shall grant one wish and one wish only to whoever rubbed the magic lamp." The mexican guy did not understand english. The jew steals the lamp and the black guy stabs him. The next day a blonde goes to the crime scene. He spot the magic lamp on the floor, picks it up, and rubs it. The genie appears. "I have been freed from the lamp. I shall grant one wish and one wish only to whoever rubbed the magic lamp." The blonde says "I wish Jose could speak ad understand english." Suddenly, the mexican appears and says "Thank you."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? one, its a fairly easy task

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Batman vs Superman the movie spoilers: Batman and Superman argue over how to handle some alien invaders, Batman wants to kill em, Superman believes he can save em. In the end they work together and save everybody. Moral: I hope they change the script, ever noticed how every hero vs hero themed movie/cartoon, ends up with them allying at the end? If ya do not believe me, just wait for the movie to come out.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the black man say to the other black man? We both share the same ethnicity

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A moose walks into a store and asks the lady where the potatoes are. She says "isle five". he walks to isle five and there were no potatoes

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So a Jew is walking on the street and he sees a penny, and he decides to pick it up because ever since the fire that killed his family and burned his house down he has been living on the street and he needs all the help he can get.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Three guys went barhopping. One slipped and broke his dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

roses are red violets are blue i just made you remember two girls one cup

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why are Pine trees green? Because light reflects at different wavelengths, and the chlorophyll, found in chloroplasts, being abundant in the needles of pine trees, Reflect the correct wavelength for green.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Feeling alone fast after opening your mouth? Feel that people ignore your conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say AHAH!... And Uhuh, and I PERFECTLY UNDERSTAND! Now YOU CAN BE APPRECIATED INSTANTLY BY A BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE SAYING!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? No one knows.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the dog hairless? I lied, it was a pig.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the father tell his son who was caught stealing from the teacher? --The father didn't say anything because he walked out on his family when the children were born.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are shitty Violets are bitches I'm fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your mom is so fat she could consider going on biggest loser, where she might be able to make a lot of money.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Can u explode on me.......Plz.........no........ok.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

The Morman Religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Did you here that Hellen Keller got hit by a bus? No. Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man is in prison and one day his cellmate offers to help him escape. The cellmate tells the man to quickly hide under the covers on his bed and that he'll instruct him further once the security guard passes. The man is then raped. Savagely.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do a snake and a bird have in common... They both fly, except the snake

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than getting shot in the face? Nothing really because that could leave you seriously handicapped for the remainder of your life or there is a good chance that you are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many cops does it take to change a lightb- [Beaten to death by cops]

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't Tom have to pay for his ride to the funeral? Because he was dead and in a coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops