kill yourself

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What did michael jackson say to the boys he touched? Nothing. Hes dead

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why can't James swim at 2010 summer ? because james died at 2009

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Why did the dog eat poop?

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When life gives you lemons you have lemons.

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Why does the St. Johns River flow north? Because Georgia Sucks.

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What did the Mexican Have for Thanksgiving Dinner? A Turkey you racist!

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Who hacks darts? • Jack Nolan aka Bowlbot 300 J-Bowls

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What do you call a person rolling down a hill, in a burning car, with a pack of wolves running after him? DEAD!

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The Pope, Queen Elizabeth and a schoolboy are on a plane that is going to crash. It crashes and they all die instantly.

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You know whats worse than finding 3 dead children in your house? Finding 2 dead children in your house.

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What kind of words did the terrorist say on his date? His last ones.

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Q.What did the German say when he walked into the bar? A.Ich möchte ein Bier bitte. Das würde mich viel besser fühlen. Meine Frau ist gerade gestorben, weil ich sie zu Tode prügeln, und ich bin ein Alkoholiker.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

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how do you get a happy man to stop smiling? hit him in the face repeatedly untill he is dead.

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I tell the Doctor I'm having pains in my chest. He says that sounds serious and admits me immediately to the hospital.

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If video games were peaceful. Man! You are so strait! That was so good man! GG.

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What did Superman say when he forgot his cape? "Where's my cape?"

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what did the jew say when the arab threw rocks at him? He didnt, the israeli air force proceeded to fire white phosphorous missiles and annihalated many small children and babies in the process, the aftermath is still around today.

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Bitch please, you're adopted as well.

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What's worse than finding a Worm in your Apple? being Mauled to death.

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A straight A star quarterback in his senior year of high school was about to throw the game winning pass in his season's last game and complete the school's undefeated record when he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

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What was so sad about the white woman who dropped her Starbucks? It fell on her baby in a nearby stroller giving it third degree burns, disfiguring its face.

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Why did Martin have to retake his exams? Because Martin is a right royal Dumbass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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