How to you get a clown off a swing? You shoot it in the face.

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What's a pirates favorite element the periodic table? Gold.

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A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

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what did Susie, the girl with no arms, say after she fell off the swing? nothing, she was killed on impact.

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Why did the mexican order a bean burrito? Because thats his favorite

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A black man has a job.

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How do you get a one armed man out of a tree? you throw a fridge at him

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You know what's bad? Running over a baby with a truck. You know what's worse? Skidding on it.

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

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How did the chicken know where he was going? He had a map.

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What's worse than slipping on a bannana peel? The Gestapo. Go to Aushwitz now.

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Chrysanthemums our orange violettes are musical

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How did the two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for half an hr? They didn't and they died.

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What's Brown and dirty? Dirt

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Whats black,White and Asian? everything we are all equal

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Bariande: I have a belly button Kraken: haha who doesnt? MissAwkward: i dont Barinade: neither do i. haha this happened on tiny chat.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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What did the rock say to the other rock? Nothing they're rocks? What did the tree say to the other tree? Nothing they're both trees? What did the pillow say to the other pillow? Nothing they're both pillows? What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow.

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what did the stop sign say to the car? nothing.

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world peace

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what'd one jew say to the other jew? i cant eat this its ham. (sounds better when said with disappointed jew voice)

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Q: why did the pie cross the road? A: Pie is not a living thing and has no way of transportation, therefor the pie did not cross the road.

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Why did the man get a haircut? Because he had long hair.

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There's three sisters: a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. They know she's not they're real mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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