Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

when life givs you lemons, make lesbian porn

Q. How do you punish Helen Keller? A. Rearrange the furniture in her room

Why can't you give a diabetic a cookie? Due to the lack of Insulin produced in the Pancreas, the sudden spike of sugar into the blood stream may send the person into a diabetic coma, which good possibly result in the amputation of a limb.

knock knock Who's there? Someone who wants to save you from the shitty dinner your lazy wife made.

what did the big chimney say to the little chimney ?? your to young to smoke

A horse, an apple, a leprechaun and a black man walk into a bar. They sit down and order drinks. The bartender looks at them and say "what is this, a joke?"

once upon a time joey was on a roller coaster. Joey fell off the roller coaster and died.

how do you kill Lady Gaga? with a gun.

A man walks into a bar and orders a sprite. Everyone in the bar looks and him funny and then laughs. He then tells them, "I would rather satisfy myself with a cool lemon-lime drink than put the poisonous toxins of alchohol into my blood stream."

... i forgot the joke :p

Where is Osama now? Telling this joke.

I have a dig bick . . . . . You have a dirty mind.

I can't hear music. I am a sentence.

What would Michael Jackson do if he were in a room full of kids? Nothing, he's dead.

no

Donkey lips

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who practices the Jewish religion. A pizza is an italian dish consisting of dough, cheese, and tomato sauce.

What did the disabled boy get on Christmas morning? Cancer.

What is bloody and has two legs? Half of a cat.

What ended my last relationship? Oncoming traffic.

tomorrows international kill and orphan day, how meany of the sad bastard's you plan on baking into dough?

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

I was jaywalking when it hit me. You know, a car.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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