NEVER

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Why did the corpse come to life? Because number 5 is alive!

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What's worse than getting a divorce? Nuclear warfare

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Your momma's so fat that she has a body fat percentage of 37 and is clinically overweight.

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Why couldn't the kid eat candy? He had diabetes, so he could put himself in danger and possibly result in death which would leave the family torn apart and all committing suicide in a matter of 10 years.

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Why couldn't the girl swing on the swing set? She had no arms.

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What's long and really hard? The fourth grade.

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what did the little boy get from santa claus on christmas? nothing santa isnt real

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Why are ther so many black people in the NBA? Because culturally Basketball is a very popular sport among a lot of African Americans, thus providing a lot of African Amercans to play Basketball professionally

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When is Florida not the sunshine state? At night.

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Is it colder on a farm than in the winter?

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What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? An amputation.

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text your mom saying you need help, then turn on vibrate and shove the phone up your ass.

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An iman, a rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. It's not the same bar. They feel uncomfortable mixing together and this makes me sad.

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What is the coefficient of friction's favourite band? MU-se. What does the coefficient of friction go to see at weekends? MU-seums. What is the coefficient of friction's favourite hobby? Masturbating violently with a noose around his neck.

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Why didn't the boy drop his ice cream He was hit by a bus and he wasn't eating ice cream

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What do you call kids born in whorehouses? Poor, poor children.

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A man named Jack has three kids. The oldest is named Jordan, the middle one is named Kim, and the youngest is named Alex. One day Jordan walked up to his father and asked him how his day was. His father replied, "It was fine."

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Tunechi

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knock knock who's there your family just died your family just died who? -.-

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How do you make a sandwich? You don't, you have a girl do it for you.

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What's the difference between hot tea and cold tea? The temperature.

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YOU

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A chicken crosses the road and goes into a bar and recites the following poem: Roses are red Violets are blue Knock Knock Who's there? Sugar is sweet Sugar is sweet who? And so are you. The bartender was confused considering she's a blonde. A genie appears and says to the Mexican he'll grant him 3 wishes. The black guy, the white guy, and the jew were at the bar also. The priest was also drinking. They all had a great time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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