how do you know when your in love? massive erection.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You shove her off the bed

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Q. Where do you find Indonesia A. On a map

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What did the farmer say to the cow on the roof? Get off the roof.

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Q: Why did the little girl scream? A: She didn't have a rape whistle.

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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What's blue and smells like red paint. ............blue paint.

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penus

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whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

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Once upon a time there was a small poor boy in a small German village. Her was name Smalls. Later he found out that he had to go back to Virginia because of their family then she got milk and went to the play that night like he was planning, and it was probably a problem with the clutch or transmission. It was fine because Smalls was 64 years old.

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My computer crashed today I was watching porn.

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Two muffins are put in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "is it just me or is it getting hot in here?". The other muffin says,"HOLY CRAP!!!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!".

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Why did the dinosaurs die out? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Why was Mrs. Clause mad at Santa Clause? Because he was hanging out with three hoes, Ho, Ho, and Ho

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What did the man in need of a prosthetic arm get from the hospital? A diagnosis for cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have down syndrome duh dusfy druah

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rose's are red, bananas are yellow, yo mama's so fat she jiggles like jello

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Brad Fuller!

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How come little billy couldn't ride a tricycle? Because he was born without legs due to a rare disease and therefore can't pedal.

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Once upon a time there was a man exercising, he pulled a muscle and had to have his heart removed. In other words, don't exercise. The end.

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Knock Knock Who's There? The police- we are sorry to inform you that your wife and only child was killed in a brutal car accident earlier this evening, We offer our condolences.

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why did the girl say what's up. she wanted to know what they were doing

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Roses are red Violets are blue I forgot to go to the bathroom

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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