Q: What did the guy with glasses say to the guy without glasses? A: Dude your not wearing glasses.

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What did the sheep say when he broke a leg? Nothing, sheeps can't talk.

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What happens if you shoot a chicken? It dies.

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Why did the plane crash. its pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run, 'cause she's got a grenade in her mouth!

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What has 3 legs? An abnormal human.

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Me: Ask me if I'm an orange. You: Are you an orange? Me: No

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roses are red and violets are in fact violet

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A Sloth runs...

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Q: A young friend you met on the internet invites you over to his house. When you arrive, Chris Hansen enters the room. What does he say? A: Welcome to our home

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How do you treat people that cannot say no in just two seconds? (redux and spellchecked) Treatment: Hi...: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! SAY IT MUAHAHAHA! People: NO PLEASE I CANT! NOOOOOO! *door unlocks* Problem solved, NEXT!

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if quizzes are quizzical, arent tests testical?

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I made a sandwich Lol jk, my gf made it for me

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What do you say when the cheese isn't yours? The cheese does not belong to me.

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what's the best way to eat a dead baby? stewed into chili with jalepeno cheddar corn bread on the side

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My mate mated with my mate's mate. mated of course meaning fucked.

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Why did the white girl fuck the mexican? Because her teacher told her to do an "essay"

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My heart is in my hands. Or maybe it's yours. Either way it's mine now. You won't need it anymore.

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If a vegetarian only eats vegetables, then what does a humanitarian eat?

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why did the chicken cross the road? to commit suicide.

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tom pauling

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How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Q. What's long and hard and full of seamen? A. A penis. Oops, I misspelled "semen". Sorry. Also, to clarify, this doesn't describe the normal state of the average penis. Usually they are flaccid, and they can only be said to be "full of semen" at the exact moment of ejaculation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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