An apple a day keeps a check next to the "I ate an apple today" box on my "what I did today" daily checklist.

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Your momma is so white, when she goes out in the sun it is necessary for her to use a lotion with an SPF greater than 30 because she burns easily and is also afraid of skin cancer.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo To whom is Boo?

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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How do you get 100 Jews into a car? ...Nevermind, it wouldn't work.

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What does a person and a tree have in common? You can knock them down if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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what the **** is wrong with kieran scotts forhead!

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What did the duck get for Christmas. A potato. Not really it got nothing because it's a duck

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what did tyrone want for Christmas? A dad.

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P.E.N.I.S P-enis E-nis N-is I-s S

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Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

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Why was the gay kid beaten to death Because he was also an outstanding racist and lived in a highly populated african american community.

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Billy: You're so ugly you made an onion cry! Jack: I'm rubber and you are glue, whatever you say bounces back and sticks to you. Billy was so upset at what he said and decided to leave.

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What did the woman say when the man got her flowers? "Why thank you."

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Why doesn't Charlie Sheen take showers? Because he spends too much time on MySpace.

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Whats Do You call people, on the top floor of a Double-Decker bus? Passengers

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Why did Justin Beiber fall out of a plane? Because i pushed him off

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If an anti joke is told, and it is about an aunty is it an aunty anti joke? Adolf Hitler.

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Your mama's so fat.... I ran around her twice, And got lost

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Wanna know how to confuse a black guy? Give him a friend chicken sandwich with mayo on it.

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Why did the white bartender kick out a black man and his Mexican friend out of the bar? It was closing time

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What is a long boring story that no one will ever want to read? the life of Sarah Palin.

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why is everyone always picking on ruth? because they just do

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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