How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her

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one day i went to bed

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What do you get when you cross a canary and a lawnmower? Nothing. A canary is a small bird, and a lawnmower is an inanimate object. Any procreation of this sort would likely produce no offspring.

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Hey could I ask you a question? Yes Thanks

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What's the opposite of stupid? diputs

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What did the little boy say after he was pushed off the cliff? Nothing. He died, therefore, he is incapable of speaking.

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Cleveland winning something

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Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

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A married couple lies in bed, making out. They must really love each other.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Pussy... Do you get it? Think about what you just answered.

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What do you get wen u cross a cat and a walrus? Two animals with very different life styles.

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What did the heart attack victim say? Call 911, I'm having chest pains. yeah, your anti-jokes are this funny....

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, I am color blind.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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There are 100 men enjoying a cruise to celebrate an important contract going through at their place of employment. The boat then suffers a major malfunction and tragically sinks to the bottom of the ocean, miles from any land masses. Not a single man died, how is this possible? They all used the lifeboats supplied on the boat and followed the standard procedure to deal with such a crisis.

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Why did Gus go to the HC? Because he got high off his ass.

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How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? None. They use candles

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What do you call a black priest? Someone devoted to the word of god

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Who is blue and smells like green paint? Matt Daly

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A spaceship enters a black hole. A spaceship enters a black hole. A spaceship enters a black hole.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. I prematurely ejaculate.

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Why did was micheal jackson named micheal jackson? because his was

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What would make a black guy sad? His mom dying on death bed...

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Why are Asians so good at mathematics? Practice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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