Two mooses were sitting in a tree, minding their own business, when suddenly a submarine came flying. "He probably lives here." The first moose said to the other.

im a straight dude and all the gay dudes at school make fun of me oh wait i wrote that backwards

A dog and a bird are sitting in the front yard of a small suburban community. The bird turns to the dog and says nothing, because birds lack the ability to speak. The dog then reaches down and slowly consumes the bird before returning to his house.

2 tomatoes walk across a road tomato 1 gets hit by a car tomato 2 gets confused, because tomatoes don't have legs and therefore cannot "walk across a road" And furthermore, a tomato does not have a brain, and thus cannot get confused.

your mumma so fat she stepped on the weight scales and it says to be continued

Waseem is sad because all his jokes are not funny!

Why did the chicken cross the road. Because, It can't fly

A black guy walks into a shoe store and buys a pair of size 14 shoes. The cashier smiles and says: so is it true what they say about big feet? The black guy laughs for a moment and responds: yeah it's really hard to find socks that fit.

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

Your Moma so fat, she would roll down a hill.

Three surfers paddle out into the surf. They had a pretty good time, except one of them got a shit ton of water up his nose.

How did the snail travel around the world without any help from a transportation device? Sadly, it didn't. The snail is incapable of this kind of long distance travel due to it's small size, lack of speed and short lifespan.

What do you call a black man with cancer? A very unfourtunate man.

how big is a midgets dick? i dont know but probably bigger then mine

A blonde woman walked into a bar. She ordered a scotch.

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Polite say "Hey you, get out of that tree."

What did one ocean say to the other ocean, nothing it just waved

what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

How do you save a black guy from drowning? You don't.

Why did the little boy drown? He was stapled to a whale.

Why did the clown fall off the swing? Because he was dead.

KNOCK! KNOCK! Who's there?! ... Ditched again!

I have a black guy in my family tree? Yea, his still hanging their

religion.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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